Posted by: Psal121 | October 13, 2011

My Journal 10132011

Today I am sitting at home watching a baseball game. Two weeks ago today I was sitting in a hospital bed wondering what the heck was God doing.

In the moment, I did not understand what was going on.  In those moments of stress, I was trying to apply all of the things God had been teaching me this year.  (You see, I didn’t want an F and have to repeat that)

And I still pray–Jesus, please don’t ever let that happen again.

I had so many attachments on me in the hospital, that I could not turn myself over. I was stuck until a nurse could come turn me. Every part of me needed help from some type of machine.

Here is what I learned.

If you have been praying over an issue for a long time, and God hasn’t answered, it’s because He knows what it is going to take to get you through it. It might not be pretty and there might be some suffering involved.

I had been praying over my issues for years.  If He had told me what I would have to endure, even for a short while, I would have said, “No, thanks. Nevermind.”

That thing you want God to hurry up and fix. You might not want Him to hurry up.  Just enjoy what you got right now.

Sometimes it is not about you, but the others you encounter during the process. If I was ever given an option to suffer so that others can learn from it–I would pass. But today, as my doctor and I recounted the experience, we laughed. He was grateful and amazed by the whole situation.  And to myself, I kept thinking – you’re just glad I’m still alive.

In order to make me better, God had to make fresh cuts that hurt. He created fresh wounds that would need nurturing and care. He laid me flat on my back, so that I would know, I couldn’t do it by myself. I kept telling myself, a month later, I’m gonna feel better.

So whatever pain you are enduring, tell yourself “It isn’t going to last forever.” God promises us that joy will come in the morning. I know for a fact that He is faithful.



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